Twelve
by Chrissy Truman
Summary: A bit of crack. Twelfth regeneration. Doctor deserves to be ginger. But the universe has a sense of humor. One shot. Read and Review please. T for language.


Twelve

Disclaimer: Dude. If I owned Doctor Who, I would be the biggest narcissist on the entire planet. I would worship me. Instead I'm stuck with a pack of self-esteem issues.

AN: A bit of crack. Thought The Doctor deserved to be ginger, but no one ever said it wouldn't come with a few other changes. Rate T for language. Just a bit of fun. One shot.

Enter Tardis. Behold Docter. Regeneration. Eleven to Twelfth.

Now, waking up on the floor.

"World!" eyes snapping open. "Big, beautiful, wonderful new world. And TARDIS. Good to see y'" planting a kiss on the console. Grinning around delightedly, and then realization dawning. "New voice! High voice! Apple, apple, where's the apple? There's always an apple. Always!" pause "No apple. Am I a woman? I never been a woman! Need a mirror!" stumbling to the Doctor's feet, pulling out the mirror. "I am! I am a woman. Well then...Hold on, what's this?" fingers scrambling frantically at the tangled mess of curly hair. "Ginger! Ginger at last!" dancing around punching the air gleefully. Then looking at the mirror. "Ginger and female...Oh dear...What does this mean? Do I like females or males? Never really seemed to be an issue. 'xcept everyone thinking I'm gay. What was up with that anyways. Did I really come off that strong? Oh let's see? TARDIS: female. Not to mention River...Well then, something new then. TARDIS you are now male!" a sudden whirring of the engines. "Never mind! Male bad. Your still female. And sexy!" TARDIS calming. "All right, all right. Now what?" looking down at self. "These clothes are not

going to work," Eyeing bow tie solemnly. "We had a good ride. You and I. Lots of stuff happened, aye! But your not very cool anymore. Sorry. Well then... One thousand and sixty two years of pants. Time to change it up a little bit!"

Standing in front of mirror several minutes later.

"Right. Don't like skirts."

"Ehh. Not shorts. Definitely not! Note to self destroy all shorts. Burn them in a big effing blaze! Along with the skirts! Yeah, sounds good. Did I just swear? Hmm rather violent aren't I? Women," shaking despairingly. "Now. What. Is. This! Who'd have ever thought! Pedal pushers! Marvelous things!"

Clapping hands delightedly.

"Not a bad number, Twelve. Not bad at all. Now let's see. A top. Something casual. Always so stuffy, with this suit nonsense. Who ever said I had to look professional. I am the Doctor! Perfect! White! Makes people trust you. Floaty too.. This is peculiar..Floaty...Floaty. Great word! Feels good. Shame it's not an actual word,"

Returning to main room. Catching reflection in mirror.

"Wait!" addressing reflection. "Does this mean I have to get a male companion now. There was Rory. But he managed to raise quite a lot of Hell didn't he. Great bloke and all. But, it was always about Rory with Amy. Hello! Time Lord, here! Last of his, crap, her kind. Always had to go back for him! Am I feeling jealousy? Am I ranting at my reflection? That's new too. Bother. Right, companions. Micky the idiot! What if I get landed with someone like 'im. I'll never survive. But I don't choose idiots, do I? I don't think so? Yeah! Look at the list. Rose: brilliant and determined. Martha: so clever and brave. Donna: all fire an' heart. Amy: the girl who waited, so strong. Rory: the roman! The last centurion! Wait a damn second! Was he cooler than me? No! I'm an alien, I travel in time, I'm the bloody Doctor, I saved this planet and others thousands of times! And, most importantly, I am ginger!" Frowning at mirror. "Right! Ginger! This is big news. I mean, I'm ginger! Just as marvelous as I'd thought it be! Well then...The world has got to know about this!"

Levers, dials, bicycle horns, buttons (lots of button)and switches; pull, push and squeeze them all. TARDIS hum and shake. The Doctor laughing.

"Hello world! I'm ginger now, and I swear. Miss me?"

AN: Que epic end of episode music for effect. :) Pedal pushers are capris. I think they're terrible. But the Doctor is the Doctor. Didn't include previous companions because I'm lazy.


End file.
